Below I am providing three ways to crochet a universe, depending on its shape (learn about them here).
You need to know how to cast on, make a stitch (single/half double/double crochet, I’ll be using US sc), increase by one, decrease by one, and to cast off.
The initial chains DO NOT count as a stitch. When working the spherical or hyperbolic universe, join with a slip stitch to your first sc, not the chain.
Firstly, The Flat Universe!
This is the easiest plane to crochet, because there are no increases or decreases.
Chain any amount of stitches.
Row 1: 1 single/double crochet in each stitch.
Repeat row 1 until you’re universe is big enough. Cut the yarn and pull the tail though the last stitch.
For A Spherical Universe…
With the spherical universe, each row has the same amount of increases (it is 6 in our case), they just spread out with each row, and then contract back in.
Create six single crochet stitches in a magic loop and join with a slip stitch. (6)
Row 1: Chain 1, make 2 sc in each stitch, join with a slip stitch. (12)
Row 2: Chain 1, *2sc in one stitch, 1 sc in one stitch * repeat from * to last stitch. Join with a slip stitch. (18)
Row 3: Chain 1, *2sc in one stitch, sc in each of next 2 stitches * repeat from * to last stitch. Join with a slip stitch. (24)
Row 4: Chain 1, *2sc in one stitch, sc in each of next 3 stitches * repeat from * to last stitch. Join with a slip stitch. (30)
Rows 7: Chain 1, make 1sc in each stitch, join with a slip stitch. (30) REPEAT ROW 7 THREE MORE TIMES!

Row 8: Chain 1, *sc2tog in one stitch, sc in each of next 3 stitches * repeat from * to last stitch. Join with a slip stitch. (24)
Row 9: Chain 1, *sc2tog in one stitch, sc in each of next 2 stitches * repeat from * to last stitch. Join with a slip stitch. (18)
You might want to start stuffing your universe at this point.
Row 10: Chain 1, *sc2tog in one stitch, sc in each of next stitch * repeat from * to last stitch. Join with a slip stitch. (12)
Row 11: Chain 1, *sc2tog * repeat from * to last stitch. Join with a slip stitch. (6)
Fasten off and sew together all the stitches. Neaten the tail by pulling it into the sphere and chopping off the excess.
And finally, a hyperbolic universe!
Tip: This one is painful to work, you might want to use double crochet to gain length quickly.
The hyperbolic universe is very customiseable. In the spherical universe, we increase each row with the same amount, but in the hyperbolic universe we increase the amount of increases.
All you need to do is start with an increase rate. In the pattern below, I will make 3 dc for every 2 dc in the previous row (i.e I am increasing my stitches by 1.5 x in each row.)
Experiment with your own rate of increase, but I recommend that you don’t increase more than 2dc per dc. 1 stitch becomes 2 and then 4, then in 6 rows time you have 128 stitches. That’s not fun, especially since we’re starting with 6 stitches, not 1!
Make 6 dc in a magic loop (6)
Row 1: Chain 2 *make 2dc in the next stitch, make 1 dc in next stitch * join with a slip stitch. (9)
Sometimes the pattern repeat won’t always complete at the end of the row depending on your increase rate. Don’t worry, that’s perfectly fine!
Repeat row 2 until the universe is big enough, or you’re too tired.
That’s all. Send me some more spacey things to crochet, and I’ll do them. Well, I’m in quarantine, I’ve got time and yarn!
“Experiment with your own rate of increase […]”
So does this explain what’s happening with dark energy?
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If we’re saying that it’s dark energy that drives expansion, then yes. If we increase our stitches by a constant amount, that would imply expansion is also constant, which is exactly what we find in a hyperbolic universe. So changing the rate of increase/hyperbolic-ness would change the amount of dark energy to matter in the universe.
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I knew there had to be a connection there!
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